How can we possibly discern what is true for us and beneficial for the evolution of our soul when we are bombarded by life? And by bombarded I don’t mean that we’ve lost control some how. I just mean, sometimes life moves at the speed of light and honestly, we start to move at that speed without knowing it and that’s not always the best thing.

Discipline is defined as a branch of knowledge or the practice of training people. I find this interesting as a yoga “teacher,” for a few reasons. One is that that while I am a teacher, I am also only a student. And honestly, the only person I am ever really training is myself.

This past year has provided big shifts for me, and I know (from personal connection) for a lot of you as well. I have witnessed shakedowns, breakdowns, breakthroughs, breakups, epiphanies, and big page-turners.  But really, it’s not any different than any other year, now is it? 

Winter Solstice

I love this time of the year. Which seems off because I am, by nature, a very fiery, sand-loving, ocean-adoring, sun-bathing type of woman. I enjoy wearing flip-flops, bathing suits, and barely enough clothes to cover my body.  Truth be told, in the midst of the cold weather months, I have yearned for the Southern Hemisphere.

I first heard the word grace when I began my practice of yoga so many years ago.  There have been many different definitions that have come up over the years but I liked the acronym I got the other day from a friend.  I like it because not only did it resonate but it blew the doors open to so much more for me personally:

Gently * Release * All * Conscious * Expectations

The idea of listening came to me when I spent the last four weeks nurturing a very sore throat.  It wasn’t a cold or anything like that.  I guess it could have been the fact that I was using my voice for work more than normal.  But honestly I believe the issue came from something that was energetically linked to me needing to shut my mouth and listen. 

My biggest lesson from Burning Man ... release all expectation, thought, suggestion of perceived reality, for nothing.  Because in that nothing there is everything.  I have never written in this fashion before, it just came pouring out.  

I was suffocating
Couldn’t sleep
Totally triggered
Couldn’t take it anymore
The noise, the harsh weather, the no sleep

I yearned for home

I was once told, “the stability that you desire cannot become frozen or static.  The more you create the quicker things move through your life. This is creating; not manipulating but creating.” 

It’s been a few days since the bombing on Paris and I’ve had spacious amounts of time to really digest this whole situation.  And I know it’s a sore spot for so many so I tread lightly while speaking from a place that is true for me.

 I think there is a spiritual meaning behind this attack and I think it’s time to take heed.  I think it’s time to wake up to our life and really see, beyond the surface, what is happening.

Resonance as defined by Webster is:  the reinforcement or prolongation of sound by reflection from a surface or by the synchronous vibration of a neighboring object.

That is the physics definition.
I love that.

I was having a discussion with some epic yogis the other day and we were talking about karma .. and what karma yoga “is”.  And we were talking about how karma yoga can be something as simple as being nice to people you don’t know.  Picking up trash that’s not yours.  Buying coffee for the person in line behind you without them knowing.  That sort of “pay it forward” attitude.  And while I love this idea, I mean who wouldn’t?  This world needs more of that for sure! 

I’ve been watching this full moon and to tell you the truth, I am so excited to work in this energy, grounding in and getting rooted!  After all the upheaval, the transformation, the undeniable realigning … it’s time to grow some roots and be devoted to your path.

I have always been one to follow my intuition.  Not a strategic plan … an intuitive knowing.  And to be honest, it’s drove a lot of people close to me crazy and in some cases, away from me.  And that’s fine by me because honestly, I can’t live any other way.  I’ve tried and it hurts, it physically hurts to live outside of my intuition. 

Thank Goddess for this theme!  After all the astrological upheaval that began all the way back with Venus Retrograde, followed by a deep dive into the Sun by Venus, followed by a Solar Eclipse, then Mercury in Retrograde, then a Lunar Eclipse, finishing with the finale of Mercury stationing direct, where else can we go but into balance?

The girls and I moved into a new home this past weekend that offers us so much more space.  People would come over and say, “Wow look at all this space!”  And I found myself, in those moments, wanting to justify and explain, why the space.  As if we didn’t deserve it or something.  I continually go to the root of things though … that’s just who I am.  So I had to think about it for a moment.  What do I do when I am given more space to create, breathe, share and love? 

Apparently, I felt like I didn’t deserve it. 

So this made me look at what we do when we have space. 

I was watching the Full Moon the other night with a friend and felt very small. We were sitting on a hilltop, looking over the cities of Tiburon, Sausalito, San Francisco, and Oakland. The bay was shrouded in clouds and fog, but still shone so brightly. The cloud cover added such a sense of majestic mystery to this eclipse, that I felt like I should have been paying an admission fee to someone for the show.

This show, that I call my life. This movie that is full of infinite lessons, challenges, initiations, triumphs and epic transitions. This box office blockbuster.

Holy shit .. can I just say that please?  Because that is the only phrase that has rolled off my tongue so easily in conversation this past week!  Wow!  We are being asked to expand big time.

Do you feel it?  Are you feeling pulled? Constricted?  Weepy?  Have you emotionally vomited for no apparent reason?  Felt like you’re being ushered into a new reality?

That’s because you are … whether you know it or not, whether you are accepting of it or not, whether you want to or not, you are.  And shit’s getting real.

There are times in my life when I sit back and ponder.  In fact, truth be told, I ponder a lot, maybe a bit excessively, but it’s been so worth it.  I call it a spiritual time-out.  There’s nothing like it … just sitting.  Who DOES that?  

The theme started out as trust, which is such an epic word. But I wanted to go deeper than trust. Deeper than intellectual thought. Deeper than what we think we know to be true.

The word trust provokes emotion in some people, namely me. Divine guidance on the other hand, makes me feel like I’m only part human and mostly fairy dust. Which on some days, is much easier than being human.

I’m having a really hard time adjusting to this “default-world” that you hear Burners talk about.  What a flipping default world it is.  That phrase holds so much meaning and makes me laugh out loud now.  And as I transition myself from an existence where people hug, connect, love, kiss, share infinite time, help each other, share truths, and fly by their intuition, into this “default reality” of schedules and work and kids and sports and “to-do’s” really has this recovering Type-A annoyed.

And I have an AMAZING life with EPIC changes coming up that I am so excited about!  And in this moment, still, I am annoyed.  Guess I’m still struggling with “embracing it all."