The Heart Knows

My biggest lesson from Burning Man ... release all expectation, thought, suggestion of perceived reality, for nothing.  Because in that nothing there is everything.  I have never written in this fashion before, it just came pouring out.  

I was suffocating
Couldn’t sleep
Totally triggered
Couldn’t take it anymore
The noise, the harsh weather, the no sleep

I yearned for home

I got on my bike and rode out to the end of the world
Where I could get some perspective
I rode to where there was some space
I turned and saw how small things really were
My shadow taller than life and I could breathe

And then I saw you

And my heart opened, totally exposed
You were like a mirage in the desert
Your kindness was that of an angel
It was so simple
And I knew things were all right

The next morning I rode around in awe
The art, the life, the love
I stopped and wept many times
I offered love and forgiveness
I prayed for a new reality
I dropped it all, the pain, the grief, the disappointment

Every morning was different
An abundance of reverence and awe
Every last bit of grief, sadness, disappointment, gone
But the temple beckoned me for one more trip inside

And there you were

In a sea of people, there you were
So sweet
So sexy
So comfortable
So familiar

How could it be anyone else?

I was an adorned princess
A queen taken home
Conversation was easy and light
I laughed more than I had in years
The lines on my forehead relaxed

I was confident and content
I needn’t be anything, I was everything
My soul was singing
We had found each other amidst on ocean
We knew it so we played with it
So innocent and light

I relaxed and watched magic unfold
Story after story
Truth after truth
Encounter after encounter

That evening, looking for you, I trusted and waited
I gazed into the dark
Into the flickering neon lights
Into the blazing fire
Into the writhing, dancing bodies
Listened intently for a sign
Stopped and called you in with my thoughts

Still nothing

I surrendered to the not knowing
To the not seeing
To the not embracing
And I trusted

And at the last minute there you were

In the dark
Moving swiftly
My heart leapt over the bikes and embraced you
Beyond time, space and reality

We found each other again

The embrace was breathless and so necessary
Even now my heart expands exponentially
To find that love, that grace, is a gift
Not everyone cracks their heart open
Not everyone feels the lightness of soul love
Not everyone understands connection over dimensions
Throughout stories, space, reality and time

The comfort, familiarity, the love
All real
All right
All divine – yes divine
Two souls reunited

My heart sang and joy filled my body
We rode to camp
To the fire, to the warmth
On cue, magic showed up in the desert
And offered us shelter and comfort
To sit, to gaze, to know
To feel, to laugh, to hold
To share space and be

Your touch ignited such passion
It was like no other before
My body released without a touch
Just you next to me was enough

Despite the cold I was warm
Your embrace so safe and so familiar
My coat our only shelter

Time stood still
We traveled dimensions
Our heart and soul merged
As Venus stationed direct our bodies laid together still

You confirmed that
My work had been complete
That my karma fulfilled
Shiva manifest in this lifetime
My light reignited not just sexually
But fully
Unconditionally
The final locks on my heart open
Exposed, raw and real

I was home

When we parted
Our gaze impenetrable
We knew it wasn’t over
This wasn’t the end
The letting go was necessary
In grace, in gratitude, in prostration
I bowed to the gift of such a short meeting
That seemed to defy time, space and distance

The heart full
The body satisfied
The soul knowing

We meet still at the edge of reality
We sing, dance, gaze at the stars
We make love
We hold each other and share stories
We laugh and laugh and laugh
Infinite embrace

We know that we found home.