A lot has been happening on this side of the screen and honestly, I’ve had to have a lot of patience with myself while I traverse, once again, into some new skin.

Patience with my kids...
Patience with my "wusband"...
Patience with myself...
Patience with the process...

I was watching the Full Moon the other night with a friend and felt very small. We were sitting on a hill-top, looking over the cities of Tiburon, Sausalito, San Francisco, and Oakland. The bay was shrouded in clouds and fog, but still shone so brightly. The cloud cover added such a sense of majestic mystery to this eclipse that I felt like I should have been paying an admission fee to someone for the show.

This show, that I call my life. This movie that is full of infinite lessons, challenges, initiations, triumphs and epic transitions. This box office blockbuster

The theme started out as trust, which is such an epic word. But I wanted to go deeper than trust. Deeper than intellectual thought. Deeper than what we think we know to be true.

The word trust provokes emotion in some people, namely me. Divine guidance on the other hand, makes me feel like I’m only part human and mostly fairy dust. Which on some days, is much easier than being human.

What does it mean to stand in empowered grace? Truth be told, I’ve been pondering, playing with and embodying this one all week long. And, I think we truly recognize what this phrase means when we are put into a position that requires the same amount of strength as it does poise, when we are being tested to stand in our truth and, not only that, but to speak it from a place of compassion and empathy.

I am revising this letter that I wrote a few years ago when I was heck bent on declaring my love and what I wanted in a man.  I wrote it knowing that in my heart, I wanted to be all these things for my man as well however, over the last year, I have come to find so much empathy for the male species that this must come out as well.

I send this out to all men and women so they may see the importance of intimacy, awareness, unconditional love, forgiveness and grace.  And may these reflect from within you first, thereby attracting that which you already are. 

This week's blog is from my book, Oms from the Heart. If you enjoy this devotional, you can find my book available for sale online.

Whew ... courage, what a word.  I was told by one of my amazing teachers once that the word courage actually radiates the highest vibration when it comes to connecting with the Divine.  That blew me away.  One of the most powerful virtues, she said.  Because it creates.  It creates the next thing based on your decision to make a decision that best suits your development, if you are present that is.

I wrote about this in my book, Oms from the Mat and when I re-read it this past week, it made even more sense to me. 

I said something like, “If commitment is such a strong word, I wonder why we sometimes use it so loosely.” And then I went on to say, “Even if you have to just pick one thing… pick it and be committed to it!  No matter what it is.. .a yoga class, a person, your word, just do it!”

Since moving to California back in November 2012, nothing has rang more true to me in my life.  Nothing.

I have written about this topic many times … in fact, I have the Sanskrit version of this word tattooed on my arm.  And I have it placed just so, where I can see it pretty much every moment of everyday of my life. 

Why? Because truth is so very important.  It’s what drives us.  And truth is ever shifting because we are always changing.  We’re consistently refining who we are so why wouldn’t what we define as truth change just a bit along this path we call life?

Let me share my philosophy around truth...

I know it's a week early but I couldn't wait to post this blog.  With Mars stationing direct, the New Moon in Cancer coming up, and my time alone without my kids coming to end ... I had to post this now.   This is an important pivotal time, if we are open to it and sit quietly for a minute.  It's a gateway to radical shifting that may require a five degree turn or maybe a 180, I'm not sure .. but I do know it's time for new beginnings.  (I'll post the New Moon Cancer class on Friday)

Those of you who know me, you know that I have had admittedly, several new beginnings in my life. 

Get ready, here comes another one. 

There is no perfect pose.
There is no perfect day.
There is no perfect relationship.
There is no perfect time.
There is no perfect life.

There is only practice.

You know … I’ve been sitting here the last couple of weeks pondering.  Actually, I started really pondering about two months ago when I experienced chemical poisoning in my body.  No big deal, it was an honest mistake, anyone could have done it.  But in that one honest mistake, I was unable to function at the level I was used to functioning.  And because of my self-created lifestyle, I had to continue, regardless of what was happening internally for me.  Which only slowly made things worse.  Which I’m sure most of you can understand. 

I have only begun studying astrology and I’m blown away and it’s potency. The way I am attracted to it like a moth to a flame. And then shy away so quickly at times.

We can’t ignore the stars .. well we can but it’s not advisable. And let me tell you .. everything right now .. between all these retrogrades and solstice coming up .. two Full Moons in Sagittarius … it’s time to purify people.

There’s no time to waste on linear thinking, mediocre living or half done projects.

Here’s what concerns me ... there are so many distractions out there that, if we’re not careful, we will become so numb to pain, that we’ll morph into robots. Little robots who can’t formulate a sentence; who can’t look at someone in the eyes and can’t sit up straight because they are too used to looking down into an electronic device. We’ll have our phones tethered to our waist, a bluetooth in our ear, and eventually glasses on that hook us up to the Internet in a blink of an eye ... literally.

You know … I looked up compassion because I just had to.   It said: 

sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others;
 pity, sympathy, empathy, care, concern, mercy, tolerance

Again, I would like to add to this if that is possible.  How about:

recognizing that “you” and “I” are the same?  That if we are truly living in compassion, then we subscribe to the fact that we are all One.  That there is no separation and no such thing as duality.  And that when we damn someone else, we are actually damning ourselves. And that when we look into the eyes of another,
if we stare just long enough, we see ourselves.

I thought I wrote about this word but apparently I didn’t. So in pure form, I looked it up:

1. The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative
2. The drawing in of breath; inhalation

And this interested me.

The process of being mentally stimulated… creativity and the inhalation.

Perfect.

Om Bolo Shri Sat Guru Bhagavan Ki… Jai!

You open the heart; you say YES but then why do your dreams not manifest?  Why then are you still overwhelmed?  Why do you still search?  Why are you still working so damn hard to figure it all out?  Still wallow in the drama?  Pay attention to the small stuff?  Allow others ideas to influence your thoughts and actions?  Why do you continue to allow the outside stuff create your life?  How long can you continue to miss the big picture… the destiny that you mapped out for yourself before you signed up for this life on Earth?  How much longer are you going to allow that to be your story?  When are you really going to show up as your Self with a capital S?

I picked this topic because honestly I stood in awe after the event we did on Mother’s Day for my non-profit, Girls Elevate.  It came to me before the event … for days leading up to it actually.  But I was preparing a thank you note to all the people who were there after the event, and I was in awe of the support that came so easily. 

And then when I looked at that list, I realized that all those people were there in service with their gift, their passion, their purpose, their love of …whatever it was they were offering up.  

"Empty presence can be said to be a mind without thought to clutter it, a spaciousness, a sense of profound resting in non-doing." - Ariel Spilsbury

It’s moments when the mind is clear of thought and there is nothing but nothingness. And I say moments because when you realize you are in (or have achieved) empty presence, you have then dropped out of it.

It’s a higher state of consciousness where you are open to receive, which goes against the very way we humans “do” things.  The paradox of those moments is that in that nothingness, there is everything.  You see, we have it all wrong.  Our society would like us to believe that we have to do, prove, accumulate and achieve in order to BE, but that is not truth.  Truth is BE-ing is just that … BE-ing

You know, I thought I had written a blog on this topic before, but I didn’t.  I went searching, hoping to just use that one for today’s shout out.  And that’s truth.  You see, I’ve been working so very hard on things out of my comfort zone, that my brain space is waning.  I didn’t think I would be able to write a blog on authenticity. 

And then, as always, for inspiration, I looked up the word authentic. 

Conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features; made or done the same way as an original; true to one's own personality, spirit, or character.

I haven’t even begun to try and process Prince’s death.  I can’t seem to find the middle ground between dancing and crying.  The day he passed, I listened to his music until I fell asleep.  Before sleep came, I scrolled video after video, article after article … I couldn’t get enough. My eyes were bloodshot I was so tired.  

I awoke in the morning, and made a Prince playlist, practicing yoga for over two hours.  It was a yoga, dance, cry-fest honestly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the word choice this week.  The conversation started out as how fortunate we are to have choice.  And admittedly, how we have too many choices on any given day.  Having too many choices creates a little FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) for me, to be perfectly transparent.  I like to keep things simple.

I came home from work the other night and my teenager greeted me at the garage door talking … before I even got out of the car, as per usual.  She was saying, “Mom… I really love my life.  I mean it.  Like, I just feel so lucky to be here! We have so much don’t we?”  I stopped in my tracks and wished I could bottle that up and play it back on another day when I vetoed something she wanted.