Om Namah Shivaya

I am revising this letter that I wrote a few years ago when I was heck bent on declaring my love and what I wanted in a man.  I wrote it knowing that in my heart, I wanted to be all these things for my man as well however, over the last year, I have come to find so much empathy for the male species that this must come out as well.

I send this out to all men and women so they may see the importance of intimacy, awareness, unconditional love, forgiveness and grace.  And may these reflect from within you first, thereby attracting that which you already are. 

We are calling our partners home by being that for ourselves.

“Listen love … I do not need you. I want you.  And I value you.  I honor your past and all you’ve been through.  We all have wounds – who would we be without them?  But I promise that in this partnership your wounds will be respected.  You see they are of the past and this is the now.  There is no other time.

I am really great on my own.  In fact I have figured out this game of life. But boy, with you it becomes magical.  It becomes a playground of laughter, intimacy, travel, inspiring work, enlightened conversations and daily downloads.  When we are together time stands still and everything is a synchronistic event. 

My heart beats fine all on it’s own,
but when I’m around you it’s a symphony that fills my being.

When we are apart my energy is enhanced because I can feel you from so far away.  My trust and respect for you and what we have, traverses distance and time.  Separation fuels the connection we each have individually to Source, which connects us deeper to each other.  Our devotion to our personal practice elevates our relationship to a plane neither of us can see but we can feel it and we witness it in our dreams. 

We are as comfortable in the space that separates us as we
are in the connection when we are together.

Life is balance of fun and work with you. Navigating this human experience as spiritual beings can be challenging but we do it with humor, strength and love.  We are there for each other no matter what.  I love that I can expend my energy all day every day – devoted to my children and my work – and then come home to you – arms wide open, eyes beckoning to your embrace.  And I do.  I fall into your arms so easily, can’t wait to feel your heartbeat and exhale completely. 

 You hold such a massive container – something I never knew existed.  You are strong, courageous and you are always there. I feel safe and secure when I am with you because you hold me physically yes, but you also hold my emotions, fears and worries. 

I am fueled by your loving gaze, your strong embrace, and your
powerful way of embodying the Sacred Masculine.

Because of your stoic stance, I am able to be so much more for you.  I am able to adore you like the King that you are.  Love you as only your Queen could.  You need support too in so many ways, that you may never be able to speak to me.  But I know.  I know because I am the Divine Feminine and I see you. 

I see you through your walls, through your strength, through your silence, through your standoffish ways of being.

I see you through the cave you sometimes hide out in.  I see you because I am light and so are you.  I see when you fall into darkness, doubt, fear and old patterns of disconnect.  And I, like you, can hold a massive container for you while you traverse between what is real and what is illusion.  I am here for you as guardian and gatekeeper of your most potent, powerful essence.  I know that through my own personal austerities, you thrive and gain strength.  Therefore, I focus on my strength to fuel yours. 

I am fueled by the Divine, so my energy is infinite.  And because of you I am able to refuel often … it is a balance that is so magical … the way we give and receive from each other.

You respect what I do and who I am in all my dynamics and you are not afraid.  You are not afraid because you too, are who you are all on your own.  We needn’t tend to each other’s business – only our own, but we are there for each other always as needed.  Our individual energy only serves to heighten the spiral we become when we are connected. When we are together, we become one.  There is no you or me… only Us. 

When we do work together it’s a magical download from the Divine.  Our passion for enlightened living and deep communication comes out in all we do and who we share it with when it’s time.

Our sexual connection is nothing short of mystical.  Your breath excites me just when I am in your presence.  Your gaze penetrates through to my soul.  Your touch ignites a yearning for intimate connection that is deeply palpable.  For the Goddess, an orgasm is a powerful way to ignite Shakti and creativity, and you know that.  That, in and of itself, excites you and draws you to me.  You understand that sexual connection between us is an experience that brings us closer to God where the magic is. It is the nectar that fuels us into Oneness.  Laying with you and simply feeling your heartbeat is enough … being enveloped by your strong arms and loving container fills me up for days.  Listening to your breathe at night is one of my favorite things to do … always.

You are not a pushover and you recognize when I need truth dropped into my lap.

I welcome this because it comes from a loving, honest place.  You, like me, will settle for nothing less then open, obsessively authentic, supportive communication that is beneficial to the growth of both parties. We are consistently working on our selves to refine our connection to Source so we can understand each other more.  We hold space for each other that is safe and nurturing. 

The ego rears it’s head every now and again, and that reminds us we are human. And when that happens each of us will hold space for the other’s moment of hesitation into expansion, and drop into what is real.  

We will come back to the heart where only love resides and BE that for each other.

We know our arguments, miscommunications and misunderstandings happen in times of growth so we both support these instances with grace, compassion and love.

You have claimed me exclusively and that excites me.  Public displays of affection are part of our existence.  Love notes, sweet connection, human interaction, real life, and real time exchange, fuels our devotion and intimate appetite.  I am your Queen and you are my King.

You set such a Divine example of a man for my two young girls. I’m not sure I will ever be able to fully express my gratitude for this. Instead, I bow to this one seemingly simple act on your part. 

For in that one simple task, you have changed the ancestral lines of objectification, neglect, abuse and hurt that I myself endured as a child. 
I love you for this alone.

I know that you too, have had hurt in your past.  I am here for you; I am a safe haven for your anger, your tears, and your frustration.  I witness you finding yourself, over and over again … knowing that an awakening is not a spiritual celebration but a stripping away of the old in order to become new.  It is not the path for the faint of heart – it is for the courageous warriors – which you my love, are.  I watch you dive deeper into your shadow and slay any demons that keep you from truth, freedom and love and I am inspired to do the same.  I honor the way you dissolve your ego over and over again in order to connect more deeply.  What beautiful work you do.  

I bow to your existence, your strength, your tears and your regeneration of Self.

You see all of me. You are witness to all dynamics and intensities of my soul: the Goddess, the warrior, the Momma, the entrepreneur, the space holder, the woman, the little girl … you navigate them all with grace and ease.

I see all of you.  The warrior, the father, the hunter, the gatherer, the little boy … I navigate them all with grace and ease.   

I am open to receiving you with grace and gratitude, with strength and potency. I have done the work and know that I am perfectly imperfect and worthy of such musings. I am an evolved woman and your are an evolved man. 

 We have been waiting for each other and we will not settle for anything less until we finally gaze into each others eyes, knowing that it is time. That we have found each other.

 It is done, it is done, it is done .. and so it is.