Begin Again …
I have been in this cauldron of yoga mindfulness for over 18 years now. Seems like yesterday I was teaching classes at my studio, Satsang Yoga, in Vancouver, Washington, with a one-year-old baby, and a three-year-old toddler. Yeah, back then there wasn’t a way to capture and share every single movement of your day … and honestly, there was no time, or in my case, desire to do so.
Nor did I want to share all the hoopla around moving those two souls to San Francisco, CA when they were 5 and 7 years old. What a trip that was. And as they grew, and I kept stepping onto my mat, we all evolved.
It hasn’t been easy. Not for one minute. No one tells you what parenting is really all about - and honestly, no one can. But in the moments that were Divine, I sat … breathless … using all my tools to be present. As if I could capture the beauty of their innocence, their voice, their movements, if I were super still.
And now, that they are 15 and 18, and one of them doesn’t even live with us anymore, I still get to my mat, day after day. Especially on the days when I just don’t want to. It sits at the bottom of my bed, under my white rug, so I have no excuse not to move my body if only for one minute.
2020 was hard as hell … for all of us. In some way, shape or form we were tested. Big time.
And 2021, for me anyway, is like the reverberation caused by all that shifting. We’re still in the cauldron you know. So, I get on my mat … day in, and day out. I run the stairs. I watch the sunset and sunrise. I use my oils, my magic, my energy and sound healing, and I keep moving. If it’s one thing I learned about myself in 2020, is that I am resilient as hell. I’m a tough cookie and there were many days I did not want to leave my bedroom, and on a few days, I didn’t.
Cried hard into my pillow so my youngest wouldn’t hear me. Sat in the tub or at the bottom of my shower thinking, WTF now? Is this shit for real? This is truth; for those of you who know me, you know I am as tough as nails. A warrior you call me. Uh huh … and 2020 kicked my ass to the curb. I lost a lot and wanted to reach out for support, but I didn’t. Everyone else had their stories; and I knew this was an old karmic loop, coming back to be reckoned with.
And so I sat, on my mat. I kept practicing, and breathing. I sat at the ocean and held my daughters in prayer. All the things we learn in this practice of yoga, it’s not the asana, it’s in all the other things. It’s the subtly of all of life. And every time we step on our mat, we begin again.
So, if this resonates with you, I want you to join me and begin again. My practice, for most of 2020 was NOT a 90-minute hot flow, followed by laughter with community and coffee (or wine) after class. It was me, pulling it together, just enough to get through the day. And show up for my daughters, for myself, and for you, when I could. It was a battle that played out in my head, my heart, and virtual court cases, where I truly had to keep my “Warrrior” status in check.
This practice brings you home.
I upgraded the 21-day Sadhana, and added 15-20 minute yoga flows. The meditations you can download and keep for yourself. And, I’m committing to contributing to a private FB group for anyone who joins me; we need each other. To stay grounded, to get back up, to dust each other off, and begin again.
This practice has never failed me.
Join me and bring your friends and family – or whoever you think can benefit from beginning again.