I love love... I mean I really love LOVE! I’ve been accused of overusing the word in some of my circles. Regardless of that, I continue to use it because it rolls off my tongue and feels good when I say it.
“Love.” “I love you.” “I love my life.”
Love has been around forever... Love has been a part of you since the second you were conceived. The minute you were created by the heavens, you became love. Love is infinite and so is the energy from the heart. The heart was formed first when we decided to incarnate. Think about that for a hot minute. When doctors look for a baby nestled in the womb, the first thing they search for is a heartbeat. Even that thought takes my breath away and brings a tear to my eye. I still remember the first time I heard the heartbeat of my two children. It is a miracle, honestly.
It is the epicenter of everything. It holds everything. From the second we are alive in our mother’s womb, we begin feeling. We felt our mother’s heartbeat, her indecisions, fears, joys and desires. Immediately, our heart started writing stories that we carry, for at the very least, this lifetime.
When we were born, we yearned for our mother’s breath, her touch and reassurance. That relationship sets the tone on how we define love. Our heart seeks love... our bodies crave touch. It’s a fact. This feeling of love and intimate touch evolves as we get older and we seek out partnerships to fulfill that need, but the fact is, we are meant to feel and love another.
But I’d like to add something that I can’t prove, I just know it—it’s in the fabric of my being and yours too. If love is infinite, wouldn’t it be safe to say that even before we incarnated, we were love? That we already came in knowing that we were divine love? That, before we were even born, we were love. I don’t know for sure, but when I sit and feel into that, it feels right.
I mean, when you feel something that frustrates you, hurts you, or creates contraction in the body, it is not love. And you know it. Whether or not you pursue it is based on your patterns. As you move along this path of life you are continually defining and redefining love and what it really means to you based on how you feel.
The heart is a beacon, it knows truth and it vibrates YOUR truth. And throughout your life, your heart has been nurtured, filled up, stepped on, mended, broken, ignited, full and then empty again and again. It is this amazing vessel of infinite capacity.
Your heart laughs, cries, embraces and screams. Think about it... it does so much. And, by the way, it beats and keeps you alive without you having to do a thing.
Another tidbit: The depth of hurt your heart has held acts as a springboard to catapult your heart into an immeasurable feeling of love and gratitude. So, the deeper your hurt, the more capacity you have to rebound into love that skyrockets.
Yes, we are molded by our mother’s patterns and thoughts on love. Yes, we draw in ideas and fantasies about love with every relationship that we wit- ness from the time we are born. Yes, we fall “into” love and stumble around blindly when the feeling of love envelopes our heart. Yes, we crumble when love ends in abandonment, or neglect or is not reciprocated. But the heart is infinite... it knows love. It knows that it can always repair itself. It just has to go inward and heal.
This is what I know to be true:
- My heart broke many times throughout my childhood.
- My heart filled up when I got married many years later.
- When I write about love or connection, it flows off my fingertips without thought.
- Love flows from me every time I step on my mat and move my body.
- My heart broke again when my marriage ended in divorce.
- When my child says, “I love you, mommy” my heart leaps and almost explodes.
- When I watch my children in a dance recital or school function, I cry—every single time.
- When I look deep into the eyes of my lover, I see love from his heart—our love connection, and it’s magic.
- But most importantly... when I look into the mirror and see myself, I see love.
Beyond the fear, guilt, hurt, shame and mistakes and beyond the paths I’ve taken that led nowhere, past the indecisions and decisions I made that turned out different than I expected, I am love. We all are.
At the foundation of it all, you are love. Alone. You aren’t love WITH some- one... you’re just expanded love when that union happens. Alone... just you... you are love: infinite love to be exact.
I am done skimming the surface of life, moving and breathing from a place that only excites my body and my mind. Let’s excite the heart! Rewrite pat- terns that put fear before love! Let’s put love first! Let’s give the heart a chance to feel into the depths of the pain so it can come up for air fully healed and ready to lead you to more love!
Revisit whatever it is fully and then come up for air. We are waiting with open arms.
This blog is an excerpt from my new book Oms From the Heart. If this resonated with you, I invite you to buy the book. It's available now on Amazon.